I'm 0nly Human
by AllAloneAtTheDisco
Summary: Chapter 7 up. Tommy and Jude? Yes...yes indeed.
1. I'm Only Human

**Disclaimer: **i do not own Instant Star, etc., etc.

**A/N:** this is basically and introduction- what Jude comes back to when she returns from touring.

Jude sat on one of the couches inside the G Major studio, her pencil scratching away at the notebook on her lap. Every ounce of her concentration was on that paper.

"Jude?"

Jude looked up and saw Tommy. Without a word, only a smile, she stood up and hugged him.

"Back from the tour and back to work already?" he asked, smiling.

"Yeah," Jude replied. I just had something in my head I needed to get out. I wrote a lot on the road too, ya know. We can go over them together…"

"Um, don't you think you should go over them with Darius?" Tommy asked her, walking backwards.

"But you're…"

"Not working with you anymore, Jude." Tommy told her. He turned around and walked off.

Jude opened her front door and went inside her house. She found it quiet and empty inside.

_Where is everyone? They haven't seen me in 6 weeks and yet no one is here to greet me._

Jude sat down on the couch and turned on the television. After watching a few minutes of some sitcom she turned got bored and stopped paying attention. Suddenly the front door opened. Jude shot up, excited to see who was there.

"Sadie! Mom!" Jude got up and went over to them. Her mother hugged her and then Sadie did the same.

"How was your tour?" Sadie asked her sister.

"Never mind that," Jude responded. "How was Italy?"

"Good," Sadie replied, she felt a sudden tension, meaning that Jude now remembered who went with her. "Let's talk."

Jude followed Sadie into the kitchen. They both took a seat and looked at each other.

"First tell me about your tour," Sadie said, interested. "Really, I want to hear everything. Actually I saw you on TV! You were so good. And you don't know how many times I heard you on the radio."

"Well then what's to ask?" Jude said, surprised that her concert was on TV somewhere. "I had fun. I mean it's my passion so of course I did. It was good for me to be away also. I had to think about things…get over others."

"Jude…" Sadie pushed her curly blonde hair behind her ears. Her lips were covered in light pink gloss. "Tommy only stayed with me for a couple days. We sort of broke it off."

"Why?"

"It's complicated." Sadie replied.

"Well there's something I didn't tell you." Jude smiled. "Me and Jamie are together."

"Really?" Sadie exclaimed. "Wow! I mean…you were friends for so long it's kind of…weird!"

"Weird?" Jude asked. "How about we just call it…sweet?"

"It's…" Sadie searched for words. "Different."

"Girls." Both girls looked at their mother. "Would you like to come shopping with me? I know it's _shopping_ but at least we can all be together."

_Not all of us mom._

_"_Sure." Sadie responded, unusually happy about it. "Come on Jude."

Jude followed her mother and sister to the car and got in the back seat. She looked out the window to distract her from the awkward silence in the vehicle. Soon enough, her mom pulled into the parking lot of some sort of hall.

"This doesn't look like the grocery store." Jude said, pushing her bangs from her eyes as she looked outside. Jude then realized that her mother and sister had already gotten out of the car and were heading inside. "Hey wait up."

Jude opened the door and got out. She quickly tried following them but they were already threw the two big white doors of the hall. Jude pulled the heavy door open and walked in.

"Surprise!" came from many different voices in the room.

Jude smiled, _Wow. I guess they did remember me!_


	2. I've Got Something to Say

Disclaimer: I do not own anything Instant Star related…

A/N: Hope you like it…the more reviews I get the quicker I'll update…and if it sucks just tell me now and I'll put an end to your misery. x0 enjoy

Chapter Two: I've Got Something to Say

Jude's face lit up when she saw all the people at her party. She walked inside and caught up with her mother and sister.

"You guys did this for me?" Jude asked, amazed that they would pull off something this huge.

"With the help of you're friends of course." Sadie replied, nodding towards EJ and Georgia. "They paid for most of it."

Jude smiled. She looked around until she finally saw Jamie and Kat. Jude ran towards them. Throwing one arm around each person, she hugged her best friends at the same time.

Jude let go and looked at them. "I missed you guys so much!"

"We miss you too," Kat responded. "It's great to have you back."

Jude looked at Jamie. They smiled at each other; the awkward silence lingered for a moment. Jamie ended it when he leaned in and kissed Jude, the same way she kissed him before he left her.

"I'm gonna go." Kat began to walk away.

"Kat?" Jude exclaimed. "Why?"

"Because," Kat spun around and faced her best friends. "I'm sorry my mom needs me tonight. Welcome home Jude."

Kat walked off leaving Jude in utter confusion.

"What's up with her?" Jude asked Jamie.

Jamie shrugged. He leaned in for another kiss.

"Maybe you should get a room?" Tommy Q leaned against the wall. He slyly removed his sun glasses.

Jude's excitement level multiplied times a billion when she heard his voice. However, she took a deep breath and held herself back. All she wanted to do right then is grab Tommy and hug him forever. But that would never be okay. Never.

"Oh yeah," Jude replied, scornfully. "Things might get R rated soon."

Jude grabbed Jamie's hand and walked away from Tommy. She went through a door and down the hallway. She didn't really know where she was going but she kept walking. The sound of the music was becoming dimmer. There were enough people at the party for anyone to notice her disappearance, at least for some time.

Jude finally stopped when she realized she was inside a bathroom. There were no urinals so it was most likely a woman's rest room.

"Whoa Harrison," Jamie said. "Slow down there."

"Sorry." Jude apologized, looking down at her sneakers.

When she looked up Jamie pulled her close and kissed her again. Seconds later, Jude pulled away.

"I didn't really come here for that." Jude explained. "I was just…"

"Then why…" Jamie paused. "Oh."

Jude's eyes squinted. "Oh?"

"I have to go find Kat." Jamie said, as he walked out of the bathroom.

Jude walked out after him. She tried keeping up.

"Jamie what are you talking about?" Jude questioned him.

Jamie suddenly halted causing Jude to bump right into him.

"I've got something to say, Jude." Jamie told her. "Kat left because she's not over me."

"Well," Jude began. She tried to think of something to say that would sound good. "I know she's our best friend but your two broke up. It's me and you now Jamie. She must have left because she's mad at me…"

"Kat ran away from me, Jude." Jamie said. "Not you."

"Because she's not over you and it hurts to be around you." Jude realized aloud.

"Yes." Jamie said. "The same way you ran away from Tommy."


	3. I'm Not Afraid to Lose it All

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the following: Instant Star.

**A/N**: Oh yeah. I like my readers to be happy so PLEASE if you have any suggestions and/or ideas, and I said PLEASE, tell me. I'll use them.

**Chapter Three**: I'm Not Afraid to Lose it All

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"I still can't believe he said that…"

Sadie flashed a sympathetic look towards her younger sister. She walked closer to her and sat down next to her on the couch.

"Guys are dogs, Jude." Sadie touched her sister's red hair. "One second you think they love you…and the next they are running out of your party to find your best friend."

"Thanks Sadie."

"Sorry," Sadie frowned. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"Touring is a lot of hard work." Jude said, randomly. "It's sad that I already hate being back."

"Don't say that." Sadie responded. "I love being back and being able to see you."

Jude forced a smile. She didn't want her sister to feel bad. Sadie was actually the only she felt like talking to.

"Thanks Sadie." Jude smiled again. "I'm going to go for a walk, okay?"

"Alright." Sadie stood up after Jude. She headed towards the kitchen. "See you later."

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Jude walked out the front door and down the stairs. She stopped and looked up at Jamie's window. She picked up a rock and held it tightly in her palm. She dropped the rock on the ground and walked off.

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"Hey Jude."

Jude looked up from her notebook.

"Oh, hi Georgia." Jude nodded. "My head is flooding with thoughts. I'm just writing them down…"

"Writing a master piece?" Georgia asked. "Keep it up."

Georgia smiled at Jude right before she walked off. Jude looked back down. She was drawing a blank.

_How can I not write anything? With all of these emotions something needs to come out. Something is missing…no someone is missing._

Jude threw her notebook down and stood up. She walked over to her guitar and picked it up.

"…**You never lied to me not once  
Its not your fault that I cant trust  
Its in my past, its in my path and I can't go there  
Making a mess out of this game  
To see it all go up in flames  
So tired of being ruthless and wreckless…"**

Jude stopped singing when she saw Tommy.

"Don't let me interrupt." Tommy insisted. "Keep singing."

Jude put down her guitar and stood up. She went to walk away when Tommy grabbed her arm.

"Let go!" Jude pulled away, forcefully.

"Whoa! Jude." Tommy walked behind her. "Why are you mad at me? Please stop."

"I'm just feeling a little hurt Tommy." Jude stopped. The tears welled up in her blue eyes. She turned around and faced Tommy. "I told you I can't do anything right."

"What are you talking about Jude?" Tommy asked, now worrying about her. "Jude?"

"I asked you before." Jude began. "Why am I so easy to give up?"

Tommy shook his head; he didn't understand what she meant.

"Even Jamie." The tears rolled down her cheeks. "Gone…just like that. Yet I still can't figure it out. I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong."

"I told you already." Tommy said. "You can't ask me that."

"Well you must see it though." Jude replied. "You must see the huge flaw I have that scares everyone away!"

"You're perfect Jude." Tommy said, sternly. He relaxed. "Don't get me all worked up again. You know what happened last time."

Jude leaned towards Tommy.

He quickly pulled far from her reach.

"Jude." Tommy looked around; there were a few people here and there. "I'll catch you around."

"I don't think so." Jude walked to her guitar and picked it up. She tossed her notebook in the trash barrel.

As Jude walked away, Tommy followed her. "Wait."

Jude stopped one more time to face Tommy.

"I can't do this anymore." Jude announced. "I know it's my dream. But I think I need to either give it up or take a break. A long break from this and everything that has to do with it."

Tommy helplessly watched her walk away.

"Your eyes…" Tommy sang. "Are holding up the sky."

Jude stopped.

"Your eyes…" Tommy continued. "Make me weak I don't know why."

Jude turned around.

"Your eyes make me scared to tell the truth."

Jude began to walk towards him.

"I thought my heart was bullet proof."

She stopped right in front of him.

"But I'm dancing on the roof." Jude chimed in. "And everybody knows……I'm into you."


	4. Make Me Scared to Tell the Truth

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the following: Instant Star.

**A/N**: Thank you for all of your reviews! Thank you to SmeardMascaraXBrokenHearts, RedLA, Monsterchild, icequenz16, Permission-to-Sin, enomo67and Tragic Eyes! Much love.

**Chapter Four**: (Your Eyes) Make Me Scared to Tell the Truth

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"Ouch!" Jude said, as she accidentally slammed her finger into her locker. She jammed her pinky in her mouth and then took it out to inspect the locker. She kicked the locker and it rattled loudly.

"You okay?" Kat asked, looking at her red finger. "Need me to call an ambulance?"

"I'm okay." Jude told her, blowing on her finger. "I heard this is supposed to work but I'm finding out otherwise."

"Sorry about you party, Jude." Kat apologized. "I really really really am sorry."

"It's okay." Jude responded. "Plus I have to forgive you. You're about the only person I can talk to right now."

"What's going on?"

"First let me ask you…" Jude said. "Did Jamie talk to you since the party?"

Kat looked down.

"Kat?"

"I'm sorry." Kat apologized again. "Jamie told me you guys broke up."

"Well." Jude started. "Not directly. But I'm assuming it's over."

"I told him you were gonna break his heart," Kat admitted. "But he broke yours. I'm sorry."

"It only hurts because everything is weird now," Jude replied. "We can pretend everything is okay. But we're not the same best friends we used to be."

"But we are." Kat hugged her friend. The bell rang and Kat let go. "So is this what you wanted to talk to me about? Cause we're gonna be late for class."

"Actually," Jude said, looking around. "It's about Tommy."

"Oh, interesting!" Kat smiled. "This is worth skipping for!"

Jude followed Kat outside. They sat down on the stairs in front of the school.

"So what's going on with you-know-who?" Kat asked.

"It was the strangest thing." Jude explained. "He sang my song to me. Whoa that came out funny. Anyway, he sang 'Your Eyes' to me while I was walking away. I told him I was quitting my music career."

"Sing it."

"Huh?"

"Sing what he sang to you." Kat insisted.

"Your eyes are holding up the sky. Your eyes make me weak I don't know why. Your eyes make me scared to tell the truth. I thought my heart was bullet proof." Jude sang loudly. She stopped and looked at Kat.

"Wow." Kat's jaw dropped. "That is the sweetest and most romantic thing I have ever heard."

"That's why I'm so confused, Kat!" Jude exclaimed. "One second he wants me the next he doesn't and then it starts again."

"Your not really gonna quit music right?" Kat frowned.

"I don't think so." Jude responded.

"I think you should talk to…" Kat stared into the distance.

Jude turned to see the white striped blue viper parked on the side of the road. She continued to watch the brown haired guy approach them.

"Come get me in the bathroom when you're done." Kat stood up and walked off.

Jude stood up, her hands in her back pockets.

"Hi Jude." Tommy said. He seemed uptight.

Jude hugged him close and spoke softly into his ear. "We both want this."

Tommy resisted her grasp. "N…No."

Jude let go.

_Why didn't I see this coming? Idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot…_

"I'm going away for a while." Tommy announced. "I came to say goodbye."

Jude didn't know what to say. She felt tears form in her blue eyes.

"These will be the last tears you waste on me." Tommy wiped them away. "Good luck with your career."

Tommy took his car keys out of his pocket and walked away from her. Jude stood there and helplessly watched him walk away.


	5. Can't Get Rid of Me

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the following: Instant Star, the song "That Girl" by Alexz Johnson

**A/N**: Sorry it took me so long to update. Keep reading (please) 

**Chapter Five**: Can't Get Rid of Me.

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"Writing new songs?" Sadie asked her sister, who was sitting at the kitchen table writing in a notebook.

"Nope," replied Jude, all eyes on the page in front of her. "Homework."

"Fun." joked Sadie. "What subject is it because if it's…"

"Do you know where Tommy is going?" Jude interrupted, in a weak tone.

"Oh Jude…" Sadie's eye's filled with sympathy. "I'm sorry. He… he…"

Sadie paused for a long time. She stroked her sister's hair.

"He moved away," Sadie finally said. "He moved to California."

"What?" Jude exclaimed, jumping up from her seat. "You mean he's gone forever?"

Sadie didn't say anything more. Jude walked past her sister and stopped before she was out of the kitchen.

"I don't know what I'm doing." Jude admitted. "I don't know where he is and I couldn't stop him anyway."

"His plane doesn't leave until tomorrow," Sadie grabbed her car keys. "How about you borrow my car and go say goodbye."

"Really!" Jude smiled. She took the keys from Sadie and walked outside.

Sadie watched her sister leave. "He's going to kill me."

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**Knock Knock**

Jude knocked on Tommy's front door. She had never been to his house before; it was huge but sort of plain.

Jude knocked again and nobody answered. She put her hand on the door knob and turned it. The door was unlocked. Jude tip toed inside. She glanced around the huge room and found nothing but plain white walls and the sound of silence.

_You said you didn't need me (but you did)_

Jude looked at the huge staircase in front of her.

'Maybe he's upstairs." Jude thought to herself.

_You said you didn't want me (but you do)_

Jude walked up the steps, her converse sneakers barely making a sound. She turned left down the shorted hall with one door at the end. Jude put her hand on the door knob and took a deep breath.

_It's kind of like a comedy._

_Well first you kiss me, and then you say we're through._

Jude opened the door without moving. When she didn't hear anyone or anything she walked inside.

The room was empty, the house was empty, and there was no blue car outside.

_I'm the smoke from your fire_

_I'm that lie you can trust_

_I'm the chord on your guitar_

_I'm that girl you can't shut up_

Jude left the empty bedroom.

She walked down the lonely hall and then the stairs.

_I'm that blood you might need_

_In your car when you speed_

_In that cigarette you breathe_

_You can't get rid of me_

Jude walked through the big empty entrance room, her footsteps echoing.

She opened the front door, "Tommy!"

Tommy was at the door as soon as Jude opened it. She looked and saw the blue dodge viper in the drive way.

"I thought you left!" Jude thought about hugging him, but quickly tossed the idea out of her head. "But what I'd really like to know right now is why you li…"

"Jude before you start yelling at me just here me out." Tommy stepped inside and shut the door. Tommy walked past her and turned left into a room. Jude followed him and found him sitting on a big leather couch. She sat next to him.

"I got half way to California when I finally decided that I couldn't leave." Tommy explained. "There's something here that I want that isn't there and I was stupid for trying to forget about her."

"Okay," Jude smiled. "So you're here now."

Tommy stood up. "I really have to talk to Sadie."

_I'm the blood you might need_

_In your car when you speed_

_In that cigarette you breathe_

_You can't get rid of me_


	6. Let Me Hide

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the following: Instant Star.

**A/N**: Makes you wonder who the hell Tommy wants.

**Chapter Six**: Let Me Hide

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Jude's jaw almost hit the floor. She got up from the couch, eyes glaring at Tommy as she back away. Jude turned around and walked out of the living room and ran through the nearest door, slamming it behind her. It was a large bathroom. Jude locked the door and turned on the lights.

"Jude?"

She heard his voice right outside the door.

"Jude please come out." Tommy knocked on the bathroom door. When she didn't respond he sighed loudly. "Whatever Jude you can stay in there. I'm going over Sadie's."

Jude heard the front door open and close, followed by a car starting and driving off.

_Going over Sadie's? That's my house too! I'm so stupid!_

_I need to just give up already. This is hopeless…_

Jude's thoughts were interrupted when she heard Tommy's front door open again, catching her full attention.

"Tommy?" a girl's voice called out. "Damn it Tom. You're never home."

Jude opened the bathroom door.

"Whoa," the girl stared at Jude. "Don't tell me he's in there with you."

Jude's eyebrow's raised. "Who are you?"

The girl was stick-thin and a few inches shorter than Jude. She had short blonde hair that was layered and chunky looking. The girl's eyes were big and brown, outlined in heavy mascara and eyeliner. She was holding a suitcase in one hand and an expensive looking purse in the other.

"Well if your so interested." The girl dropped the suitcase on the ground. "My name is Madison."

"I'm…"

"The famous Jude Harrison?" Madison questioned, in a sarcastic tone. "Oh please can I have your autograph?"

Jude didn't know what to say. She was confused and insulted at the same time.

"Where is Tom?" Madison asked. "I'm **dying **to know!"

Jude didn't like her sarcastic attitude or the fact that she looked completely perfect and flawless and was asking for Tommy.

"He's not home." Jude said, plainly.

"Well in the meantime I'll make myself at home." Madison smirked as she grabbed her suitcase. She dragged it up the stairs and disappeared around the corner.

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Jude walked out of Tommy's house only to see the blue viper pulling into the driveway.

_I just love my life._

Jude tried her best to walk right by Tommy but something stopped her. It was Tommy's hand grabbing her hers.

"Jude." Tommy began. "Please come back inside. I have something for you."

"Why don't I go home," Jude replied. "So you and your little friend can spend some time together?"

"What are you talking about?" Tommy asked.

"Does the name Madison ring a bell?" Jude tilted her head, her red hair dropping off her shoulder.

"What?" Tommy exclaimed. He seemed agitated. "Maddy is here? Are you kidding me?"

"Let go of my hand," Jude said. "So I can go home."

Suddenly Jude realized what she said right as he let go.

_He was holding my hand! But why? I don't get it. I never will. Give up Jude, give up._

"Sorry." Tommy said. "Anyway, Maddy is my sister and I need to find out what she's going here."

"Okay." Jude replied. "Bye Tommy."

"Why don't you come inside?" Tommy insisted. "I'll make dinner."

Jude followed Tommy inside. She sat on the couch and waited as he cooked dinner.

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"Hey." Madison spun through the doorway into the kitchen. "Smells good."

She was wearing the shortest white skirt Jude had ever seen and a pink halter top.

Jude was sitting at the table holding a fork which had spaghetti twirled on it. Tommy sat to the right of her and there was another dish to the left of her, across from Tommy.

"So it's true." Tommy looked at his sister; there was no happiness in his eyes. "I heard you were in town. Take a seat."

"Whatever." Maddy sat down.

"What are you doing here?" Tommy's fork clunked onto his plate when he dropped it. "Seriously, because I don't have time for this."

"Wow Tom!" Maddy shouted. "Mom and Dad kicked me out and I have no place to go! What am I gonna do go sleep in a gutter somewhere! You're supposed to be my brother holy shit!"

"Go back to the guest room." Tommy told her. "I don't need this right now."

"I actually unpacked in your room thanks because I like your bed." Maddy said. "You and Jude can go have sex in the guest room all night because I'm staying in your room."

"Then go!" Tommy said, not yelling but raising his voice. "We both know you're not going to eat anyway!"

"Actually I have to eat now!" Maddy screamed.

"Why?" Tommy asked. "You haven't for the past three years! Take your eating disorder problems back home!"

"I told you I eat now!" Maddy had tears in her eyes. She got up from the table and ran upstairs.

Jude looked at Tommy and then quickly away. She was very uncomfortable.


	7. Pick Up the Pieces

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the following: Instant Star.

**A/N**: MonsterChild: Harsh indeed. RedLA: Thanks! It will be changed very soon so if you don't see updates at some point, check in the M category.

Thank you to everyone who read!

**Chapter Seven: **Pick up the Pieces

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There was a long silence.

"So…" Jude tossed her food around. "That was pretty harsh Tommy. I mean you seem more like enemies than siblings."

"It's a long story Jude." Tommy said.

"I've got time." Jude took a sip of her water. "All the time in the world."

"Maddy is a wreck and she always will be and I don't have the time and effort to help her." Tommy explained. "She has…a medical problem…with eating. I don't like talking about it."

"She has an eating disorder?" Jude asked.

"Yes." Tommy replied, he looked scared, Jude had never seen this side of him and it scared her. "Not only that but she has involved herself in drugs and alcohol and who knows what else."

"I'm sorry." Jude put her hand on his, causing him to quickly look up at her.

"I just don't have the time to keep an eye on her and I know she'll hurt herself somehow." Tommy went on. "I care about her but she's just too difficult."

Jude stood up. She took Tommy's plate as well as her own and put them in the sink. She walked back to the table and looked at Tommy.

Tommy stood up and looked in Jude's eyes. The gorgeous blue eyes showed his own reflection. He put his hand on her cheek and leaned in and kissed her.

After many minutes of lip-lock, Jude finally pulled away gently. All they could do was smile at each other. Tommy took Jude by the hand and led her upstairs. They walked down the hall towards the guest room.

"I guess we can chill in here." Tommy looked around the room. It was pretty cozy for a guestroom.

"That's fine."

Tommy and Jude both looked towards the door when they heard Maddy slam the bathroom door down the hall.

"I'm gonna go talk to her." Tommy told Jude. "I'll be right back."

Jude sat down on the big bed as Tommy exited the room. He headed towards the bathroom door. He heard something he didn't like and immediately pushed the door open.

"What is going on in here?"

Maddy looked up. She was hunched over the toilet throwing up.

"Leave me alone I'm sick." Maddy said, struggling to hold her hair back. She continued to throw up.

"So is this what you meant by telling me that you eat?" Tommy was angry and had a look of disgust on his face. "You eat now but you puke it all up?"

"Please go away!"

Tommy grabbed his 16-year old sister a cool face cloth and handed it to her. Maddy flushed the toilet and leaned back, sweat poured down her forehead.

"Go to bed." Tommy told her. "Get some rest, I will see you tomorrow."

Tommy got up and left the room. He walked down the hall and entered the guest room.

"Yelling all the time." Jude said, as Tommy laid down next to her. "Your usually so calm and collected."

"Yeah well that just goes to show how bad Maddy really is." Tommy replied.

"Maybe she's not all that bad." Jude said. "Maybe she just needs someone to talk to."

Tommy shrugged. "Let's just talk about something positive for a while."

"Sure," Jude rested her head on her hand. "Like what?"

"Like this." Tommy leaned towards the red-haired girl, until his lips met hers.


End file.
